


The Anniversary of Infinite Distance under a Starlit Sky

by aireagoir



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anniversary, Attempted Sex, Awesome Darcy Lewis, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Meddling Kids, Please put down Mjolnir, Stark Tower, Subscriber Sundays!, Thor Needs a Hug, uncle loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7097473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireagoir/pseuds/aireagoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor and Darcy Lewis-Odinson have everything they need for a memorable fifth anniversary...wine, food, romance, and triplets that just turned three.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Anniversary of Infinite Distance under a Starlit Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gc01](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gc01/gifts).



> The first "Subscriber Sunday" post, thanks to gc01 for the prompt:  
> Darcy/Thor trying to have sexy times while being the parents of toddler triplets. After all Thor is a god of fertility. 
> 
> Thank you for the terrific suggestion; hope everybody enjoys the fluff!  
> Each Sunday I'll be posting another ficlet based on the ideas left under "Subscriber Sundays." Thanks for the hilarious ideas so far, keep 'em coming! In the future some might be combined if it's funny.  
> A special shout-out to the parents of toddlers. I happen to be such a parent. I'd be lying if I said there's no tiny piece of my everyday life in this very special post.

********

 

Darcy Lewis-Odinson knew she was a lucky woman. You can have all the sass and pluck in the world, but, let’s face it… a certain amount of luck is involved the day you show up to work and your boss says,

“Darcy, I know this seems sudden, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you or Thor…but I am so miserable I can’t hide it any more. Darce, the time has come for me to follow my heart. Just once, quit thinking and start feeling…so… what I’m trying to say here is that astrophysics is my job, but balloon animals are my passion. I have to go where the kids are, Darcy. I hope you understand. Oh, and I left you a bouquet of balloon daisies to say thanks for all you’ve done.”

Then, what started as a “there, there, dear” hug for Thor became more of a “there, there, oh my God, literally, you are a god, THERE!” hug.

See? Luck.

Their gorgeous wedding was an intimate, classy affair arranged by Pepper.

 

Their reception, arranged by Tony, was as follows:

  * 300 people danced while drinking Asgardian mead and Red Bull
  * Burlesque circus dancers dressed in Sexy Iron Man Halloween costumes performed hanging from the ceiling
  * Captain America jumped out of a nine foot tall cake made by Bucky Barnes
  * Loki (now so undoubtedly devoted to Thor he served as best man) handed out home-grown mushroom hors d'oeuvres that made guests temporarily believe they were a fainting goat
  * Clint spray painted Mjölnir bright pink while Nat dumped glitter on the fresh coat of wet paint



      and

  * Bruce and Tony revealed they had stabilized a hole in the space/time continuum that allowed Thor to commute to work on Asgard then get back to Darcy in 43 seconds. It was DNA coded to the two of them, and their combined DNA so little Thor Juniors could surprise Grandpa Odin and Grandma Frigga with picnic lunches or whatever nanotech pet Uncle Tony had built for them this week.



It was especially poignant as the newlyweds prepared to Hammer Time themselves to Tahiti and JARVIS called the bride Mrs. Lewis-Odinson. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when JARVIS revealed he had already been asked by Thor himself to be newly named Thor Lewis-Odinson.

 

_Two years later_

_“_ PUSH, my love, PUSH! My love, the doctor beseeches you push through the pain, push with the heart of a warrior.”

“YOU PUSH! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, FERTILITY GOD.”

Oh my. She was…most convincing. “Darling, push. Please push. You can…to hell with this.”  And with that, Thor daintily placed his palm on Darcy’s drastically engorged abdomen then _he_ pushed with 12% of his total capacity. Pop pop pop! Would you look at that? Triplets. The last thing Thor heard before Darcy fell into a deep sleep was “give them Old Norse names, my love. Look deep into your heart and give our sons names which shall last for all time. I need to sleep for a week.”

Thor was weeping, tears of a man who has never felt more love, devotion or obligation than the first time a parent meets their beautiful baby. And his brother. And other brother.

In this overwhelming moment of pride and fear the nurse brings in birth certificates so the children (HIS CHILDREN!) may have a name. An identity. That which forever bonds him to his father and mother. Thor, so overwrought with emotion, must turn his head to hide his tears as he gives his progeny solid Old Norse names, the language of the Gods. _Please_ , he begs in his head _, Allfather, how do I define these miracles? What will be how they are seen for eternity?_ Thor comes back into the present and names his sons Ein, Tveir, and Prír. His sons. HIS SONS.

Thor vows there will never be a moment these precious souls will anger or annoy him. He shall be forever selfless no matter what Ein, Tveir, and Prír do.

*

36 hours after _that_

“OUR CHILDREN ARE LEGALLY NAMED **WHAT?** YOU HOPPED OFF OUR WORLD AND A QUICK HEADCANON PEPTALK BY THE ALLFATHER MADE YOU NAME THEM **ONE, TWO, AND THREE?”**

Thor looks at the floor, the light switch, the locked closet of medical supplies, then says “I love you?”

 

*

Yesterday

Darcy had finally chosen the perfect wedding anniversary present for Thor. They stuck to the original, old-fashioned present guide for anniversaries because it was old, and romantic, and Thor was a sucker for anything old and romantic. Five years was something wood. Darcy thought she had pretty well nailed this one; she got an artist from Kristiansand, Norway to take authentic Norwegian pine and sculpt a two foot long wall-hanging representing the five years of their marriage thus far. It was beautiful and smelled like Norway. It was perfect.

Meanwhile, Thor was certain he had gotten the perfect present as well. He had gotten Darcy a beautiful necklace with a wooden pendant, and the wood had been imbued with a tiny amount of magic, so that any time she looked at the pendant she could see moments of their past together, and it would keep collecting memories as long as she and the children were alive. It was also polished in such a way that others who tried to look into it without permission would only see themselves staring back.

Both of them had planned, together, a delicious dinner, wine, romance, song…

And somehow… no babysitter. It had completely slipped their minds. No matter. They’d put the boys to bed at 8:00 and settle in for a gorgeous evening together they would never forget. It should, at least, be mentioned that was true. This was an evening they would never forget.

Ein, Tveir, and Prír took their bath like good little boys. They loved taking baths when Daddy would swirl them around in the big tub then, in his big, booming voice, shout “Iron Man time!” He’d pick up one of the boys and lift him up, flying him above the tub while saying things like “I am the greatest of all known geniuses yet I can be felled by the simple act of coffee deprivation!” When it was Prír’s turn, he said, as he always, always did, “Don’t worry my precious son, daddy has not forgotten.” He was always, always rewarded with a giant smile as his son gleefully accepted the tiny plastic armbands Thor got out from under the sink. Prír never wanted to fly around. Instead, Thor would hold him high above the bathtub and let his little boy cast out tiny arcs of pretend electrical current as Thor would say, in his best Black Widow voice, “You have no idea how many ways I can kill you with my pinky finger, silly foe!” He would then help Prír do a series of complicated twists and turns in the air until he softly landed back in the bathtub.

He knew Darcy had told Natasha of this act. It made him blush until one day, when a particularly foul species of alien that looked and smelled like rotten eggs tried to take over the Statue of Liberty, Nat landed next to him and said, “First of all, I’m getting the kid real armbands when he’s five, so if I were you I’d start fireproofing your Stark Tower floor now. Secondly, you know I’d die for any of them, right? Good. We’re settled. Fistbump for gender equality and we’ll never speak of this again. Alien egg at your 11:00.”

It was Tveir’s turn to choose how Jarvis decorated the triplets’ room for the night. As usual, he chose “fishies!” and JARVIS bathed their room in a comforting swirl of aquarium light. The boys each got kissed by mommy and daddy, then fell asleep to the sound of gentle waves and jellies, lazily floating by.

Thor came around the corner just in time to see Darcy putting plates of beautiful, spiced Asgardian boar on the table, where the white wine and champagne were already cooling. He lifted her in his arms and swung her in a circle, then kissed her so deeply she thought she might never breathe on her own again. Gently he murmered, “I want to hold you and caress you for the next five centuries, my dear. I’ll never stop touching you.” Then he growled. She giggled and nuzzled into his neck. It felt amazing. But boar does cool quickly, so they sat down and stared at each other, as though this were their first date ever, as they popped morsels of the feast into each other’s mouths. Thor was savoring an especially beautiful, perfectly broiled potato when

CRASH. BUMP.

“WAAAAAAAH!!!”

“JARVIS, report on all children!”

“Elevated pulses, all other vitals normal, Mr. Lewis-Odinson.” Darcy and Thor rounded the corner into the nursery to see Tveir crying “fiiiiishiiiieeees” while Ein was banging a dresser drawer against the wall shouting “NOOOO. NOOO FISHIES. PORTAL!!!” Darcy sighed. This old fight again. Having toddlers with twice the strength of a man from Earth was just…special. It was special. Thor picked up the pieces of the drawer while Darcy sat Ein back in bed with a stern “NO, Ein. We do NOT try to create portals in the bedroom. Bad boy, Ein. NO PORTALS.”

They got all three boys back in bed, JARVIS put in a work order for the wall, and Darcy went back to the table to salvage dinner while Thor turned down the lights and got out some candles. At least the champagne was still cold and chocolate mousse was still in the fridge. Darcy had just pulled it out and playfully popped a strawberry into between Thor’s lips when

CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAACK. Followed by an ominous thud.

“JARVIS! Report!” Thor was halfway down the hall with Darcy right on his heels as they both heard JARVIS start with “Your presence is required in the study…”

Darcy ran into Thor’s back as he stood, dumbstruck, in the door of the study.

“JARVIS, screen and channel to my brother immediately please. Brother, please tell me you have conjured a bit of ridiculous magic to wreak havoc with our wedding anniversary celebration.”

Loki looked up, a wrinkle between his eyes forming as he looked into the screen, rather than the ancient tome he had been studying. “No, Thor. I swear that is not so. To be honest, I had forgotten. My apologies to you and your good lady wife.” Darcy popped her head under Thor’s armpit and shouted “Thanks bro, but seriously, we have a little problem here! Can you think of any reasons our sons should be able to—”

RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIP.

The screen was destroyed as Ein, Tveir, and Prír giggled then brought Mjolnir around the room and back into Ein’s hands. Ein waved Mjolnir at the screen. "Bye bye Unca Loki! We loooove you!" Then he chased his brother with the most important hammer in intergalactic history in his right hand while he rubbed boogers on it with his left. The two halves of Uncle Loki smiled benevolently and disappeared.

“Thor, how is this possible? How can they do this?” Darcy _definitely_ wanted an answer on this one.

Thor was in shock.

“I know not. This is unique in all the years Mjolnir has been mine. Ein, Tveir, Prír! We do NOT lift Daddy’s work hammer. This is ONLY for Daddy. Not a toy!” He angrily strode to the center of the room to get the hammer when suddenly Tveir ran past him towards Darcy and Ein effortlessly threw Mjolnir across the study. Prír clapped his hands and giggled “Worthy, daddy, worthy!” Then he ran under Thor’s grasp and took the hammer from Tveir and used it to smash a sculpture from New Mexico worth $4,000. Darcy kept running around after the other boys shouting “no! Nobody is worthy. NO WORTHY. Only Daddy is worthy and this isn’t funny!” Thor suddenly found himself using the Scary Daddy Voice and shouting “BOYS. GIVE ME MJOLNIR RIGHT NOW.”

All three boys stopped. Prír hiccupped.

“WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHhHHhhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhh, ehhh ehhh ehhh, nooooooooo. We waaaaant Mjolniiiiiir.” All three boys had dissolved into crying, wailing, pouting messes on the floor. Without thinking Darcy went to pick up the hammer so they could carry the boys to bed but of course it wouldn’t budge. “Dammit! Love, please move this?” But it was too late. All three boys were still wailing but now also screeching “D word! Mommy said the D word!!”

Oh, my God. How, how, HOW did her life turn into this? She and Thor literally had entire worlds at their feet. She could have been the queen of infinite realms, with servants to do nothing but make certain her every desire was met. No, she was Darcy Lewis-Odinson, resident of Stark Tower, mother of three, and all she had wanted was to eat dinner at the correct temperature and maybe, just maybe, have sex with her husband while they weren’t worried about the boys, aliens landing in New York or Phil Coulson insisting her husband needed to do three hours of paperwork on a Friday while other, normal people were drinking tequila in bars, counting Jell-O shots as a daily serving of fruit and doing irresponsible things with their bodies.

Thor had Ein and Tveir, one under each bulging bicep, and she had Prír, now happily singing “D word! Dammit! D word is dammit!” over and over. Darcy took a deep breath, got ready to throw his misbehaving butt into bed, and _, oh, man_. Really? Right now?

“Prír, did you make a poopy?”

“Yes! Big poopy.”

“OK, little man. We need to change your diaper.”  She opened the diaper drawer. Thor must have put the diapers in another drawer. Not that one, not that one, not. That. One.

“Baby, where did you put the diapers?”

“Darcy, I was not aware we required such a purchase. I have not put any of them anywhere.”

“What did you think I meant when I asked if after your training session with Cap and Clint, please get some Huggies?”

Thor’s look clearly revealed relief. “Ahhh. I’m sorry, I have not purchased diapers. This does, however, explain why the other team members were surprised I insisted upon embracing them heartily following our exercise.”

Darcy didn’t even blink. Of course he did. It was just…him. He did that, and he was her husband, and she wouldn’t have him any other way. It just…..yeah. Yeah. Luck. Luc-ky girl. Would never want him any other way. Remember that.

“Uh, sure! You know what, this is an exciting adventure. Prír, you are going to love this! Tonight we’re going to wear special nighttime diapers Mommy is going to make for you.” She went to the kitchen, grabbed a gallon-sized Ziploc baggie, nabbed her nail scissors, and cut out two leg holes then stuffed in some Kleenex. Crisis averted. She was totally unflappable and calm and collected and the groovy, fun-loving Darcy she used to be and not at all about to cry as she sealed her kid into a baggie and Thor threatened all three kids with no visit to Asgard this week if they were bad again.

Back in the living room Thor pulled her onto the couch and said “Now, my love, we should at least be able to enjoy our gifts.” He eagerly tore the paper on the wall hanging and proclaimed it the perfect gift. It smelled wonderful and he was in awe of the artistry that had gone into it. Darcy was incredibly touched by her necklace, and the magic element was something that she could hardly believe was real, was for _her_. She was just Darcy Lewis, the normal kid who lucked out into hanging with really cool kids. Intergalactic-level cool. She was peering into the pendant at that moment and said “huh. I don’t remember this night, do you?” Thor looked down. He frowned. “No, my love, neither do I. Perhaps it is a portent of things to come? Loki used very ancient magic, it may be that the pendant can see what we cannot. At any rate, we know for certain Prír has never used scissors…” They saw it at the same time. The Prír in the pendant was wearing…

A Ziploc diaper and giant grin as he took Darcy’s nail scissors and carefully cut off all of his sleeping brother’s hair on one side. Darcy firmly but quietly removed the scissors, Thor firmly placed him back in bed, and prayed the other two boys would stay asleep. Ein would be mad, but maybe in the morning all the kids could give each other haircuts. That seemed like a cool way to even the score.

At LAST…

Thor swept Darcy up and lifted her onto their own bed, for some very well deserved playtime of their own. Tired and hungry, but still absolutely not letting this evening pass without some sexytimes, Thor had taken off his shirt and was in the process of relieving Darcy of hers when she groaned, “Shit. I had…shit. Sorry. I bought a whole thing to wear for tonight.” Thor tried not to sound too excited and muttered, “Well, shall I leave you for a moment?” Then Darcy tried not to sound too tired when she said, “Well, sure, yeah, if you wa(hhhanyawn)nt.”

Thor gauged if he cared that much or…nope. Probably just run for the finish line. “No, it will be more special when I do not expect it.” Darcy nodded and decided she’d better buck up and enjoy this, who knew when they’d be in the mood again? Things were just starting to get interesting in the bra removal portion of the program when, huh. OK. Darcy was willing to groove with this. Thor had never gone the foot fetish route before, but she could go there. She was just about to slap him a touch, maybe a spank for being such a dirty, dirty god but…

“AAAAAHHHHHH! NO!”

Thor looked up. “Me?”

Darcy’s eyes shot open. “Not you?”

They both looked down…

“Prír! Why are you biting mommy’s toe?”

“Daddy, why were you biting Mommy’s—"

Thor leapt out of bed while Darcy fought to get at least one layer of cloth covering everything above the waist. She heard her husband say

“OK.  DADDY. IS. MAD. We are absolutely done with this. Playtime is over. Mommy and Daddy were, uh, it’s a sacred bedtime ritual all Asgardians learn about when they’re 22 and have their own jobs and houses and NOT BEFORE. EVERYBODY in this house who is a little boy needs to be in bed RIGHT NOW.”

“No, daddy. Ein playroom! Playroom now?”

“He’s not! He’s in…where’s Ein? Where are your brothers?”

“Ha ha, Ein faster than daddy!” Holding Prír like a football, Thor ran to the door of the playroom and looked, despondently, on all that he saw.

Ein, Tveir, and now Prír were ripping giant chunks of the meat off the wild boar that should have been put away hours ago. They were also eating chocolate mousse with their hands, making large smears of grease on the wall, and mashing their little fists into potato chunks strewn across the carpet. The boys had covered the bald spots on Ein’s head by pasting yarn to his scalp. Tvier’s tongue was colored with green magic marker. The nail scissors had cut off the bottom seven inches of the sheer curtains at the window. Ein had clearly tried to start another portal behind the craft table. In the middle of the room there were globs of potato and yarn in the crevices of Thor’s new wall hanging.

Thor sat, befuddled, by the mess his own progeny had wrought. How could he fight some of the most legendary warriors of his time yet not keep three small soldiers in line for one evening? Darcy wandered in, looked at the gigantic mess in the center of the room, and said “OK. New anniversary plan.”

They gave the boys another bath, put them back in their beds, got JARVIS to set the walls for “camping” then unrolled a sleeping bag. As Thor crawled in next to Darcy, she gave him the world’s most tired look and said “I know. I know.”

He looked at her with infinite love in his eyes as he said “In the time of my ancestors it would be most appropriate to quietly make love under the stars at night.”

“Thor, I’m ovulating.”

“Ten of your Jesus Christs, woman, why did you not say so before?”

And that is how the Lewis-Odinsons came to spend their anniversary, under the starlit sky, very, very carefully not touching each other at ALL for another three days to come.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
